Gangster Meets Prankster
by WingedUnicorn123
Summary: Lily's parents have died and she's broken up with James, and now she's a Muggle gangster. James is trying to help her, but his attempts lead to something very unexpected....


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, besides Lily D. Jordan and Arianna belongs to Jordan, Cassie belongs to Cassie, and if there's anyone else not in the books they belong to me. Oh, and *astrics* mean italics, because I don't feel like figuring out how to make italics. =)  
  
~*Gangster Meets Prankster*~  
  
By Lily Sarah-Charlotte Diane  
  
Chapter 1: Meeting Old Friends  
  
Eighteen-year-old Lily Evans, fresh out of her last year at Hogwarts, examined herself with a raised eyebrow in a floor-length mirror. She was wearing torn jeans and a form-fitting white tank top. Her red hair was pulled up into a ponytail, a spotless white bandana on her head. Her gun was nestled in its holster, gleaming in the sunlight.  
All of Lily's best friends had abandoned her: Arianna, Lily D., Angelina, Christine. . .and she had dumped James after she had found him with Erica. That she regretted the most. She knew that he had been drunk, she knew that Erica had been drunk, and she also knew the two weren't together, but she had dumped him all the same. Of course, that made practically all of the female population of Hogwarts give her the cold shoulder, except for a few of her very best friends.  
Lily was a completely different person now, because the day she dumped James, her parents had died. Petunia, the idiot, had run away with some stupid guy named Vernon, and Lily moved into a small flat in a dodgy neighborhood. Not caring about anything after her parents' deaths, she had joined a gang and that was why all her friends had turned against her. They thought she was going in the wrong direction by killing people, and of course, she was and knew it.  
The phone rang suddenly. She picked it up. "Hello?"  
"Evans, we need you down the block. We're killing the guy who shot David's brother," The voice of her new best friend Josh said.  
"Why can't David sort out his own damned problems?" She grumbled, pulling on her shoes and checking her gun.  
"Well, you're his girlfriend, whether you like it or not. You don't want to be shot, do you?"  
"If I had my way, I would pound his worthless head into a pulp. . ." Lily's voice trailed off.  
"Hurry up and get your ass down here," Josh said shortly, and then he hung up.  
***  
The same day, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Arianna McReii and Peter Pettigrew sat in the living room of the flat they shared.  
"Heard from Evans lately?" James asked Sirius and Remus casually. Arianna had profusely ignored all of Lily's owls, and soon they stopped coming. Peter. . .well, who would owl him? Remus and Sirius were on speaking terms with Lily, but they hadn't seen her since graduation.  
"Other than a month-old owl, no," Sirius downed a butterbeer. He was now a tall, handsome man of eighteen, an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries and in the Order of the Phoenix. He sometimes disappeared for long periods of time, coming back injured, and the others soon learned not to ask where he had been. "Why? She isn't about to come running into your arms, mate, no offense."  
"No reason. . .I just think she's going in the wrong direction," James said. James was tall and nineteen-years-old, his hair as messy as ever. He played Seeker on the England Quidditch team, and he did something else, as well, but no one knew what he did and no one cared. James was also in the Order.  
"Well, that's obvious," Nineteen year old Arianna said a bit coldly. She was, of course, in the Order ((Okay, okay I'll just say everyone in the flat was in the Order to save your boredom)) and she was an Auror. She had dirty blonde hair and was a bit short for her age, and she was a fairy. "You do know she's killed people, right?"  
"I really think we should go over and talk some sense into her," Remus said loftily, flipping through some job advertisements. Being a werewolf made him unable to get a job for more than a week; he regularly did work for Dumbledore, also disappearing for longs periods of time and coming back injured. He was eighteen years old and not as peaky and small as he used to be, though his hair was now graying the slightest bit.  
"But she won't listen," Peter whined. "Remember when we tried that other time?" Peter was as short and ugly as ever, stocky and seventeen years old, a janitor in the Ministry. His birthday was coming up soon.  
"All she does is use that stupid gun of hers, instead of her wand. You'd think she wasn't a witch," James said darkly. The first and last time they had visited her, she had threatened them, gun in one hand and whisky in the other.  
"She looks like one of those. . .gookies. . .on Muggle television," Sirius said.  
Arianna sighed. "It's *gangster*, and she is one! Vandalizing and killing. . ."  
"Look, just because *you've* abandoned all hope for the sweet Lily Evans we used to know doesn't mean we all have," Remus snapped bitterly, getting annoyed.  
"Well, I'm going over to her flat, gun or not," James declared, standing up. He looked around at the rest of his roomies. "Anyone coming?"  
No answer. Arianna crossed her arms and pointedly looked the other way.  
"I take that as an obvious no. If she kills me, you can't have my Thunderbolt, Padfoot," James joked, a bit nervous about how Lily would treat him. He Disapparated with a pop.  
***  
"Well, I'm here," Lily snapped, arms crossed and eyes glaring at her boyfriend who had forced her to be his girlfriend. They had met in a small, darkish alley.  
"Took you enough time, Lil," David said coolly. He had gelled back blonde hair, and was tall and muscular. His eyes were a cold blue, and he shoved his hands into his leather jacket.  
"Well, excuse me if I—"  
She was cut off from a whistle from behind her. Lily swiveled around, hand automatically reaching towards her gun.  
James was leaning on the wall, eyebrows cocked and smirking. He was in a tight black shirt with the sleeves ripped off, jeans also ripped because a certain dog had torn all his jeans in mad pursuit to be a niffler for Halloween. His arms were crossed, his wand up his sleeve in an arm holster he had gotten for his birthday from Sirius. ((Oh, wait. Dang, he doesn't have a sleeve. Well, it's somewhere on his arm where the Muggles can't see it)) He also had a gun in another holster on his hip, but he sincerely hoped he would not have to use it; the only reason he even had it was so that Lily's gang wouldn't take advantage of the fact that he was not armed. He didn't particularly want to be caught using magic in front of Muggles.  
Lily's eyes slid up and down his body, but then she got a hold of herself, narrowed her eyes, and hissed, "What do you want, Potter?"  
"What, is it a crime to visit an old friend?" James asked, eyes flickering towards the rest of the gang.  
"Yes. Get out of here right now."  
The smirk slid off James face and he looked serious. "We missed you, Evans."  
"'We'?"  
"The Marauders, Arianna, Christine. . .everyone in your year," James said, remembering all the times when he and the other Marauders pulled pranks on her.  
"I doubt it—"Lily started to snap, but David cut her off.  
"Who is this guy?" He demanded, eyeing the gun James had.  
"An ex-boyfriend," Lily said darkly.  
"She's with me," David growled, putting an arm around her. James saw Lily wince a little.  
James raised an eyebrow. "I'm not after her, all I want is a little reunion between her and her old friends," James said coolly.  
"Go away, Potter," Lily snapped, yanking David off. "Damnit, just shut up." When David made to get out his gun, she slapped him. "And I don't even want to be dating you."  
She was about to march back to her apartment, hand still on her gun. Lily felt James's hand on her shoulder. Quick as a flash, her gun was out and pointed at James's forehead. "Go away, Potter," She repeated.  
James didn't even flinch. He knew Lily had long stopped wearing her wand in her arm holster and that she would never shoot him, ex-boyfriend or not. "You won't shoot me," He said calmly.  
"Oh, can I?" She asked in a mocking voice. She slowly pulled back the hammer on the gun ((or whatever it's called, I have no idea)) and James still didn't remove his hand.  
"Sure, Evans. You can threaten me all you want, I don't care," James said, and then he muttered so that only Lily could hear and the gang behind him couldn't, "I have my wand, Evans. Don't make me use it—for self defense, that is." He smirked.  
"Fine, Potter. Five, tomorrow, my place, and don't expect me to cook," Lily snapped. "Now fuck off."  
James smiled and slunk into the shadows, and as soon as he was out of sight he Apparated back to his shared flat.  
***  
"Oh no, James, I am absolutely not—"Christine said heatedly. Christine had long, straight light blonde hair that went down to her bellybutton and light brown eyes. She was a fairly important Ministry worker and was in the Order.  
"Yes you are," James said firmly. "We're going to wake her up, and you're coming. I would invite the rest of the girls in your dorm, also, but seeing as only you and Arianna are available. . ."  
"You're crazy," Both Christine and Arianna growled.  
"And you owe us," Sirius said lazily, entering the kitchen and hoisting himself up on the tabletop, instead of using the chairs like most sensible people. "I didn't save both your sorry skins for nothing during that Death Eater attack for nothing."  
"And already my future husband is bossing me around," Arianna grumbled.  
Eventually, the two reluctantly agreed and soon they were at Lily's.  
Lily was waiting expectantly, scowling. What the hell did they want after not seeing her for so long? It made Lily sick every time she thought of James's offer. Although she currently would like to punch him, a part of her desperately wanted to see James and the others again. Lily jumped a little as they all Apparated into her apartment.  
"Good morning, Lillian, how do you do?" Sirius asked pleasantly, sweeping into an exaggerated bow.  
"Marvelous seeing you again," James grinned.  
"Just spiffing," Arianna added, a twinge of sarcasm in her voice. "Absolutely *corking*," Christine sneered.  
"Ok, that's enough," Remus cut in before Peter could put in his share.  
Lily pointed her gun at Arianna and Christine. "Out."  
"It will be my pleasure to leave," Christine said nastily, and she was about to Apparate when Sirius, James and Remus gave her death glares. ((Peter was too busy watching the doorknob rust))  
"I'm afwaid of her big, bad gun," Christine explained sweetly, and then she Disapparated, followed by Arianna.  
Lily turned to the others. "Well, what are you waiting for? Out!"  
"Why, but Lillian, you—"James started to say.  
"I only did that so you would go away," she snarled. "Get out. Now."  
"Let's go," James muttered so that Lily couldn't hear. "I'm going to come back later anyway. . ."  
They Apparated out.  
Lily breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn't stand having her old Hogwarts friends being so close to her.  
She walked into her bedroom, rummaging around the closet. She finally found the large, dusty cardboard box she had been looking for. Lugging it out, she opened at and examined its contents. After awhile, she pulled out a small, purple velvet box and opened it. Inside was the small, diamond class ring that James had given her in school. Lily slipped it on, remembering all the times she and James had spent together. . .  
"God, you're getting weak." A voice snapped from behind her.  
Lily took off her ring and shoved it back in the box. "Go away, David."  
"Is that any way to speak to your boyfriend?" David sneered.  
"You're sure as hell not my boyfriend by choice," Lily retorted.  
"You know what, Evans? I think you need a little punishment for that mouth of yours. . ."  
Lily didn't have any time to think as David's fist swung towards her. . .  
***  
"Are you serious?" Sirius asked incredulously. "She'll beat you to a pulp, sure as hell with that gun of hers. . ."  
"No, you're Sirius," James said calmly, sticking his gun in his pocket. "She won't shoot me, and besides. . .I have a gun and a wand."  
"What are you going to do, kill her?" Remus asked, flipping through the Daily Prophet.  
James gave him a look that said he certainly wasn't going to kill her, and then he disappeared with a crack.  
He pounded on the door. "Lily, open up!"  
No response.  
"Lily!" He kicked the door, and to his surprise, it didn't result in a sore foot, but the door fell down. "Muggle doors," He muttered. "Figures."  
He walked inside, his foot nudging something soft. James slowly looked down, seeing David with a bullet in his head.  
"Oh god," He muttered. "Lily, get your ass out here right now!"  
"Back again?" Lily snarled, walking out with a set of clothes in her hands. She dumped it into a waiting wastebasket, along with a lit match.  
"What the hell have you turned into?" James demanded, trying not to be sick at the sight of all the blood.  
"It's called self defense," Lily said dryly, dropping more random items in the burning wastebasket. "That's what you do when you almost get yourself raped and then beaten to death."  
"You *killed* someone, Evans!" James shouted.  
"Self defense!" Lily bellowed. James glared at her and she tossed her gun at his head. "Go on, turn me into the cops, abandon me like last time! Or why don't you just stop me!"  
"If you're asked me to kill you—"  
"That's exactly what I'm asking," Lily said calmly.  
"There's no way in hell I'd kill you," James snapped. "And besides, we're conversing over a dead body, which you might like, but I don't really appreciate it." He turned on his heel to leave.  
There was a pause as Lily hesitantly said, "James?"  
He turned around, eyebrow cocked. "What?"  
"I'm not as cruel as you think."  
"Mm--hm, sure," James rolled his eyes, taking a step towards her.  
"No, really—I only kill people if I need to, not for fun. David would've killed me anyway."  
James stepped closer and said softly, "The Lily Evans I used to know wouldn't have killed *anyone* no matter how bad the situation." He leaned over and before she could protest, kissed her on the cheek before Disapparated.  
Lily stood there for a few moments, shocked. The worst thing about the situation was that James was right. If she were the girl she was at Hogwarts right now, she would've never joined the gang in the first place. Lily would most likely be living in the flat Sirius, James, Remus, Peter and Arianna shared instead of the flat she lived in now. It would've all been different if her parents hadn't died. 


End file.
